An Ode to Jacob...
My Pledge To Jacob
By Serenity Finch
1. I pledge I will actually read the novels I am assigned in English classes. And if I am too stupid to understand the novel then and only then I will use a website explaining everything in great detail. As opposed to never reading the book and using the synopsis on the book to get my understanding. To go one step further I pledge to not watch only the movie and skip the reading of the book.
2. I pledge to not start wars between couples or friend groups, as this would ruin the unstable standing we already live day-to-day in Jacob’s society. I’d rather live my life in solitude then be involved in miserable drama between any of the pitiful gender’s in Jacob’s population.
3. I pledge to not allow others to ruin the frail togetherness I work hard to keep as this would surely result in the dismemberment of those who commit the awful atrocities.Although the completion of this is unlikely because of the people who make this very easy to accomplish and of course those I daily envision without vital organs and limbs. To also, not be a hypocrite and remove this togetherness in others without purposeful intent and the readiness to run away.
4. I pledge to remember that teenage girls are not a diverse creature and that the nonsense that they speak, will NEVER change the fact that I choose to not identify myself with the indistinguishable flock of females and instead identify myself with the modesty and intelligence that is defined perfectly by women.
5. Plus I pledge to remember BOYS ARE STUPID and I pledge to let the stupid speak to itself. I pledge to never forget that.
6. I pledge to stop creating a fantasy in my head that high school is a great place and hold onto the fact that I am only here to earn a education, even if it isn’t a meaningful or fun.
7. I pledge that the point of high school is to get ahead of everyone else in life and to better yourself and forget that those other people are left behind on the trail to hope that they find a way out of the forest of winding trails and hoping they will reach the end and enter into the busy city that is called life and is where you truly live abundantly.
8. I pledge to accept the fact that Starbucks really should be closer to Queen Street because then I could frequent it and get a high off of coffee and actually complete homework on time.
9. I pledge to not be shocked when people announce they are getting married right out of high school.
10. I pledge to remember that there are 6 billion people in this world and only 1200 of them are a Jacob student, so if I can’t find someone I actually enjoy spending time with then there are roughly 5 billion,999 thousand and 800 people left to find someone I can enjoy being with.If I can’t do better than it’s not worth living and I will traverse to Mars to live a short life without oxygen and die a morbid death due to lack of awesome people on Earth.
11. I pledge to not use the word awkward in sentences that it does not actually apply, after the stage of adolescence of course, because that is the fundamental word of our species.
12. Finally I pledge to be a student at Jacob until the point of graduation, even if that means I only attend 40 classes out of every 90 and learn the bare minimum required for post-secondary school.
By Serenity Finch
1. I pledge I will actually read the novels I am assigned in English classes. And if I am too stupid to understand the novel then and only then I will use a website explaining everything in great detail. As opposed to never reading the book and using the synopsis on the book to get my understanding. To go one step further I pledge to not watch only the movie and skip the reading of the book.
2. I pledge to not start wars between couples or friend groups, as this would ruin the unstable standing we already live day-to-day in Jacob’s society. I’d rather live my life in solitude then be involved in miserable drama between any of the pitiful gender’s in Jacob’s population.
3. I pledge to not allow others to ruin the frail togetherness I work hard to keep as this would surely result in the dismemberment of those who commit the awful atrocities.Although the completion of this is unlikely because of the people who make this very easy to accomplish and of course those I daily envision without vital organs and limbs. To also, not be a hypocrite and remove this togetherness in others without purposeful intent and the readiness to run away.
4. I pledge to remember that teenage girls are not a diverse creature and that the nonsense that they speak, will NEVER change the fact that I choose to not identify myself with the indistinguishable flock of females and instead identify myself with the modesty and intelligence that is defined perfectly by women.
5. Plus I pledge to remember BOYS ARE STUPID and I pledge to let the stupid speak to itself. I pledge to never forget that.
6. I pledge to stop creating a fantasy in my head that high school is a great place and hold onto the fact that I am only here to earn a education, even if it isn’t a meaningful or fun.
7. I pledge that the point of high school is to get ahead of everyone else in life and to better yourself and forget that those other people are left behind on the trail to hope that they find a way out of the forest of winding trails and hoping they will reach the end and enter into the busy city that is called life and is where you truly live abundantly.
8. I pledge to accept the fact that Starbucks really should be closer to Queen Street because then I could frequent it and get a high off of coffee and actually complete homework on time.
9. I pledge to not be shocked when people announce they are getting married right out of high school.
10. I pledge to remember that there are 6 billion people in this world and only 1200 of them are a Jacob student, so if I can’t find someone I actually enjoy spending time with then there are roughly 5 billion,999 thousand and 800 people left to find someone I can enjoy being with.If I can’t do better than it’s not worth living and I will traverse to Mars to live a short life without oxygen and die a morbid death due to lack of awesome people on Earth.
11. I pledge to not use the word awkward in sentences that it does not actually apply, after the stage of adolescence of course, because that is the fundamental word of our species.
12. Finally I pledge to be a student at Jacob until the point of graduation, even if that means I only attend 40 classes out of every 90 and learn the bare minimum required for post-secondary school.
The Lost Languages
by Paige Snowdon
The Language Department at Jacob Hespeler Secondary School. The big issue that teacher’s face is trying to motivate students to continue on with languages, when they are raised to believe that the English language is one that is widely spoken around the world. With this in mind, why would Canadian students need to acquire another language?
When this topic was discussed with the teachers within the department, they could not come to a straight conclusion. Each of the language teachers had either studied in another country, or had been raised some place which was quite foreign to the Canadian soil that we are used to. Is this the reason that the idea of languages was instilled in their minds, causing them to pursue one language or another throughout their schooling and into their careers?
When the topic of international languages was researched initially, it turned out that over four fifths (80%) of the world’s population did not in fact speak fluent English. Are Canadian students truly blind to the extent of the English language worldwide, or are they simply arrogant enough to believe that the rest of the world will begin to acquire English as a language?
French and Spanish are the two languages offered at Jacob Hespeler, French being the most spoken language in the world, the only language that is understood in each of the five continents around the world, and Spanish as a first language accounting for roughly 400 million people around the world. To put that into perspective, only about 350 million people worldwide speak English as their first language.
In today’s day in age with the depletion of job opportunities, the need for special skills in the workforce is in a much higher demand, this includes the ability to fluently or partially comprehend another language. Many young adults are obtaining university degrees to find out that there is no guarantee of obtaining a job with a degree straight out of university, or even in the years after university. According to statistics provided by (investopedia.com) you earn approximately 1.7% more than your co-workers just by knowing Spanish as a second language alone.
From this, many European languages are derived from Latin roots, which in return create the group of languages that are most commonly known as the “Romance Languages.” This group of languages consists of French, Spanish, Italian, Portuguese and Romanian as the most spoken Romance Languages worldwide. As they have all been linked to having Latin roots, the way the languages are formed (from the way that their phrases are structured, to the possessive, definite and indefinite articles that are used) are very much the same to one another, which makes it easier to attain another language if you already have one of the Romance languages under your belt. In coherence to this, it has been cited that children are able to attain a language faster than they ever will later on in their life through the way that they are able to interpret scenarios through various problem solving skills such as attempting to break down words and sound them out, and using rhyming schemes to better develop their sense of understanding of a language.
With that being said, the language programs that are offered across the WRDSB (Waterloo Regional District School Board) are those with Latin derivatives. French is always offered as it is the official second language of Canada, and usually Spanish, Italian or German are the other options that schools decide to include in the different course options that they provide to students. With options such as these, it isn’t as though students are paying for languages courses, it is required that students participate in a certain amount of courses in a year, language courses.. even just one, would not act as a burden to students
We as students, live in a world where many argue the relevance of subjects such as math, (where in the world are we ever going to use x=-b ± √b2 - 4ac again in our lives?). 2a
If this is the age old question that students argue every year, languages would seemingly be a beneficial course for everyone to enroll in past the necessary first year course. Not only are languages beneficial for careers such as teaching and translating, they can be utilized in every career. With the amount of immigrants Canadian societies attain each year, every job will include some kind of ethnicity that does not include typical Western Societies. In such a competitive job market, it is included on big name jobs (i.e., health care, hospitality, law enforcement and education industries) insist on biliguality to promote their business and establish career bases around the world, this meaning that being bilingual would leave a resume at a higher value to the employer than a person who is properly educated in that job field. Languages are a necessity in this generation, and will continue to be as long as immigration is still permitted world wide.
Yet this upcoming school year, the Spanish class will not run a single class in either the first semester or second semester. The French program will continue it's streak of only running one lone class every year for each grade after Grade 9. With the evidence provided as to how beneficial languages can be throughout the duration of a person's life, it is seemingly berserk that students would not take advantage of these courses throughout the duration of their high school career.
by Paige Snowdon
The Language Department at Jacob Hespeler Secondary School. The big issue that teacher’s face is trying to motivate students to continue on with languages, when they are raised to believe that the English language is one that is widely spoken around the world. With this in mind, why would Canadian students need to acquire another language?
When this topic was discussed with the teachers within the department, they could not come to a straight conclusion. Each of the language teachers had either studied in another country, or had been raised some place which was quite foreign to the Canadian soil that we are used to. Is this the reason that the idea of languages was instilled in their minds, causing them to pursue one language or another throughout their schooling and into their careers?
When the topic of international languages was researched initially, it turned out that over four fifths (80%) of the world’s population did not in fact speak fluent English. Are Canadian students truly blind to the extent of the English language worldwide, or are they simply arrogant enough to believe that the rest of the world will begin to acquire English as a language?
French and Spanish are the two languages offered at Jacob Hespeler, French being the most spoken language in the world, the only language that is understood in each of the five continents around the world, and Spanish as a first language accounting for roughly 400 million people around the world. To put that into perspective, only about 350 million people worldwide speak English as their first language.
In today’s day in age with the depletion of job opportunities, the need for special skills in the workforce is in a much higher demand, this includes the ability to fluently or partially comprehend another language. Many young adults are obtaining university degrees to find out that there is no guarantee of obtaining a job with a degree straight out of university, or even in the years after university. According to statistics provided by (investopedia.com) you earn approximately 1.7% more than your co-workers just by knowing Spanish as a second language alone.
From this, many European languages are derived from Latin roots, which in return create the group of languages that are most commonly known as the “Romance Languages.” This group of languages consists of French, Spanish, Italian, Portuguese and Romanian as the most spoken Romance Languages worldwide. As they have all been linked to having Latin roots, the way the languages are formed (from the way that their phrases are structured, to the possessive, definite and indefinite articles that are used) are very much the same to one another, which makes it easier to attain another language if you already have one of the Romance languages under your belt. In coherence to this, it has been cited that children are able to attain a language faster than they ever will later on in their life through the way that they are able to interpret scenarios through various problem solving skills such as attempting to break down words and sound them out, and using rhyming schemes to better develop their sense of understanding of a language.
With that being said, the language programs that are offered across the WRDSB (Waterloo Regional District School Board) are those with Latin derivatives. French is always offered as it is the official second language of Canada, and usually Spanish, Italian or German are the other options that schools decide to include in the different course options that they provide to students. With options such as these, it isn’t as though students are paying for languages courses, it is required that students participate in a certain amount of courses in a year, language courses.. even just one, would not act as a burden to students
We as students, live in a world where many argue the relevance of subjects such as math, (where in the world are we ever going to use x=-b ± √b2 - 4ac again in our lives?). 2a
If this is the age old question that students argue every year, languages would seemingly be a beneficial course for everyone to enroll in past the necessary first year course. Not only are languages beneficial for careers such as teaching and translating, they can be utilized in every career. With the amount of immigrants Canadian societies attain each year, every job will include some kind of ethnicity that does not include typical Western Societies. In such a competitive job market, it is included on big name jobs (i.e., health care, hospitality, law enforcement and education industries) insist on biliguality to promote their business and establish career bases around the world, this meaning that being bilingual would leave a resume at a higher value to the employer than a person who is properly educated in that job field. Languages are a necessity in this generation, and will continue to be as long as immigration is still permitted world wide.
Yet this upcoming school year, the Spanish class will not run a single class in either the first semester or second semester. The French program will continue it's streak of only running one lone class every year for each grade after Grade 9. With the evidence provided as to how beneficial languages can be throughout the duration of a person's life, it is seemingly berserk that students would not take advantage of these courses throughout the duration of their high school career.
Twisted Sports
Paige Snowdon
As soccer is undoubtedly the most sought after sport at Jacob Hespeler Secondary School, the student body has shown a wide spread of support towards the girls who are trying their hardest to pull off wins this season. Unfortunately, they have experienced nothing but hard losses this season, with most of the team inexperienced with even the basic rules of the game. As a result of this, the coaches are experiencing extreme difficulties enforcing the fact that no, you cannot pick up the soccer ball and throw it at your opponent’s head. No, you can’t touch the soccer ball with your hands, YES, THIS INCLUDES THE TIPS OF YOUR NAILS, and yes, kicking the opposing team’s players with your cleats is quite illegal, harmful, and WILL get you kicked out of the game.
Despite the team’s struggles on the field, they hold an immense amount of support from the vast majority of the students attending the school. The team’s fan base throughout even the off-season dominates the amount of supporters that come out to Jacob’s football games, field hockey games, and even track and field meets.
In other and slightly less important news, the JHSS football team made a wildcard entrance into the CWOSSA finals, finishing off with a record-breaking 1-9 season.
You may think the team would place forth a better performance with a former CFL Linebacker to provide assistance and advice to the team, but that was certainly not the case.
Many times throughout the year, the stands were left bare as the Hawks went on to barely score even a touchdown each game. The Hawks battled hard, but intrigued the staff and students at JHSS as they earned a random wildcard spot into the school board’s CWOSSA finals. This is where the Hawks pulled off an amazing feat.
Throughout the first quarter of what would be their final game, the Hawks gained few yards, as the opposing team was able to catch onto their plays quickly. With a rookie cornerback, Jacob’s quarterback was relying all too heavily on the veteran wide receivers to carry the plays
It wasn’t until halfway through the third quarter that the pace started to pick up.The Hawks pushed through the opposing team’s offensive linesman which in return caused two turnovers in the Hawks favour, one sack, and one interception which lead to a 40 yard sprint into the end zone. The Hawks were up by a mere 7 points.
The Hawks put up a strong fight, and showed pride and team spirit like never before. They pushed through the opposing team’s defence which towered their own, but all in all, they never gave up.
Unfortunately, the Hawks ended up losing a hard, long battle, 38-7.
With a 1-9 record to conclude the season, no one but the school’s kicker received an offer of admission to play football at any university. To put it kindly, sports just isn’t Jacob Hespeler’s “thing.”
Paige Snowdon
As soccer is undoubtedly the most sought after sport at Jacob Hespeler Secondary School, the student body has shown a wide spread of support towards the girls who are trying their hardest to pull off wins this season. Unfortunately, they have experienced nothing but hard losses this season, with most of the team inexperienced with even the basic rules of the game. As a result of this, the coaches are experiencing extreme difficulties enforcing the fact that no, you cannot pick up the soccer ball and throw it at your opponent’s head. No, you can’t touch the soccer ball with your hands, YES, THIS INCLUDES THE TIPS OF YOUR NAILS, and yes, kicking the opposing team’s players with your cleats is quite illegal, harmful, and WILL get you kicked out of the game.
Despite the team’s struggles on the field, they hold an immense amount of support from the vast majority of the students attending the school. The team’s fan base throughout even the off-season dominates the amount of supporters that come out to Jacob’s football games, field hockey games, and even track and field meets.
In other and slightly less important news, the JHSS football team made a wildcard entrance into the CWOSSA finals, finishing off with a record-breaking 1-9 season.
You may think the team would place forth a better performance with a former CFL Linebacker to provide assistance and advice to the team, but that was certainly not the case.
Many times throughout the year, the stands were left bare as the Hawks went on to barely score even a touchdown each game. The Hawks battled hard, but intrigued the staff and students at JHSS as they earned a random wildcard spot into the school board’s CWOSSA finals. This is where the Hawks pulled off an amazing feat.
Throughout the first quarter of what would be their final game, the Hawks gained few yards, as the opposing team was able to catch onto their plays quickly. With a rookie cornerback, Jacob’s quarterback was relying all too heavily on the veteran wide receivers to carry the plays
It wasn’t until halfway through the third quarter that the pace started to pick up.The Hawks pushed through the opposing team’s offensive linesman which in return caused two turnovers in the Hawks favour, one sack, and one interception which lead to a 40 yard sprint into the end zone. The Hawks were up by a mere 7 points.
The Hawks put up a strong fight, and showed pride and team spirit like never before. They pushed through the opposing team’s defence which towered their own, but all in all, they never gave up.
Unfortunately, the Hawks ended up losing a hard, long battle, 38-7.
With a 1-9 record to conclude the season, no one but the school’s kicker received an offer of admission to play football at any university. To put it kindly, sports just isn’t Jacob Hespeler’s “thing.”
Rube in A Big Town
Steph’s Cafe
Food Review by Serenity Finch
How does it feel to be a disappointment? Some say that by taking the old and replacing it with the new you can create something great. Instead by removing Java Garden and making it Steph’s Cafe it all went to crap.
The customers from Jacob Hespeler are constantly being viewed as lesser beings and it is commented on by employees to these customers. One such occurrence went like this, a young couple entered the store with their hands entwined, ordered and sat down at a table. They sipped their drinks and Steph, the owner herself came over to them and said “Keep it PG guys”. Needless to say that this is not the only time that Jacob Hespeler students have been treated this way. As a result Jacob’s students no longer go to Steph’s Cafe for their fear of the wrath from it’s employees overcomes their need for coffee.
Coffee. Another change that was and is unwanted. As the Java Garden had a famous recipe for their coffee loved by all who frequented their quaint shop, it is no longer. Steph decided to change their recipe and which now disgusts and horrifies those who expected the same famous and well-loved coffee they previously enjoyed. I, when going to the shop to test this theory out, found coffee grinds in the bottom of my cup. I can safely say that I was not impressed.
The miserable couch. The grungy, dirty and smelly couch that is presented to customers to sit on smells of mothballs and dust, has the most unfortunate stains, and cigarette burns that leave a reminder to where the sad couch may have lived before the store brought it in. When you sit on it you sink so far that you can feel the frame of the couch underneath your buttocks, it is far from comfortable. When paired with the stains that are questionable and the smell that engulfs your body and when inhaled through your nose leaves you wondering how long you can go without breathing it is not a enjoyable place to sit. Just like the cafe itself.
By removing Java Garden, many customers assumed wrongly that it would bring something even better than their most loved cafe; as normally should. If you take something away you probably plan to upgrade. That is not the case with Steph’s Cafe. A great deal of disappointment came to these folks as they tasted the coffee, stood by the couch deciding whether or not it is a hazard to sit on it, and realized they could no longer go on a romantic date to the place they used to do so frequently. In all, Steph’s Cafe brought horror to the people who used to haunt the Java Garden and brought down the value that Queen Street had gained by treating customers politely and professionally.
Steph’s Cafe
Food Review by Serenity Finch
How does it feel to be a disappointment? Some say that by taking the old and replacing it with the new you can create something great. Instead by removing Java Garden and making it Steph’s Cafe it all went to crap.
The customers from Jacob Hespeler are constantly being viewed as lesser beings and it is commented on by employees to these customers. One such occurrence went like this, a young couple entered the store with their hands entwined, ordered and sat down at a table. They sipped their drinks and Steph, the owner herself came over to them and said “Keep it PG guys”. Needless to say that this is not the only time that Jacob Hespeler students have been treated this way. As a result Jacob’s students no longer go to Steph’s Cafe for their fear of the wrath from it’s employees overcomes their need for coffee.
Coffee. Another change that was and is unwanted. As the Java Garden had a famous recipe for their coffee loved by all who frequented their quaint shop, it is no longer. Steph decided to change their recipe and which now disgusts and horrifies those who expected the same famous and well-loved coffee they previously enjoyed. I, when going to the shop to test this theory out, found coffee grinds in the bottom of my cup. I can safely say that I was not impressed.
The miserable couch. The grungy, dirty and smelly couch that is presented to customers to sit on smells of mothballs and dust, has the most unfortunate stains, and cigarette burns that leave a reminder to where the sad couch may have lived before the store brought it in. When you sit on it you sink so far that you can feel the frame of the couch underneath your buttocks, it is far from comfortable. When paired with the stains that are questionable and the smell that engulfs your body and when inhaled through your nose leaves you wondering how long you can go without breathing it is not a enjoyable place to sit. Just like the cafe itself.
By removing Java Garden, many customers assumed wrongly that it would bring something even better than their most loved cafe; as normally should. If you take something away you probably plan to upgrade. That is not the case with Steph’s Cafe. A great deal of disappointment came to these folks as they tasted the coffee, stood by the couch deciding whether or not it is a hazard to sit on it, and realized they could no longer go on a romantic date to the place they used to do so frequently. In all, Steph’s Cafe brought horror to the people who used to haunt the Java Garden and brought down the value that Queen Street had gained by treating customers politely and professionally.