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Within the next week, my Futures Forum class is going on a trip to see a TEDx conference, based around the idea of "chasing home." We were asked to discuss something, anything related to the theme of the conference chasing home. Pretty vague, but it gave me the opportunity to write this blog about what the idea of "chasing home" means to me, and maybe some of you can relate.
So, chasing home. When I think of home, I think of a place where I am welcome. It doesn't necessarily have to be the house that I live in, or even a house at all. It may in fact be the house that you live in. It may be a friend’s house, maybe a family relative. It could be a church, group home, any place in the world. It may not even be a physical building. Home can simply be a thought or a feeling you get of complete comfort and happiness. Home is where the heart is, in my opinion. Home is a place where you are accepted for who you are entirely. Where you are able to feel love in complete fullness. Where you are able to experience happiness, and be able to dream and express your life in any way that you feel possible, because this place is your home, and no matter what you should be accepted in your home.
It took me a while to figure out where my home was. I used to think it was either my mom's house, or my dad's house. The place where my family is, the place that everyone refers to as "my home". After a really rough time, I ended up leaving one of my "homes". It was when I left my one home that I realized what it means to be chasing home, and therefore what it means to find my true home. Before I left my mom's house, I didn't really understand what it meant to be home in a sense. When I was at my mom's house, I felt entrapped. I had to think every time before I spoke, knowing that anything I said could be held against me, and always in the back of my mind thinking of all the ways that my mom could twist my words. I was always the black sheep in the family, the punching bag who always had things taken out on them when times got rough at home. And I don't mean to degrade my mom or my family what so ever, I do love them. But many of these occurrences made me realize that this place isn't my home. It was a place where I can't fully express who I am without being degraded, and a place where I felt more unhappy than happy. This isn't what the description of home is, or ever should be.
Throughout the past year, I have been living with my dad. And I can honestly say I have never been happier. I am accepted and feel so comfortable and constantly happy at his house. This place is my home now. And I love it.
But if I'm going to be honest, in my mind, home is where the heart is. And my heart is stuck with one person. When this person is gone, my home is gone too. When I'm gone, it never feels like I am truly home until I am with this person again. This may sound dumb, and completely unrealistic, but it is my idea of home. The time that I feel most at home is when I am with this person, where I am completely myself, and unconditionally accepted as who I am.
So that is my conclusion to this topic of “chasing home.” Find that one place, person, or mind-set that makes you feel totally alive, comforted, welcomed, and loved, and that’s when I truly believe that you have found your home.
So, chasing home. When I think of home, I think of a place where I am welcome. It doesn't necessarily have to be the house that I live in, or even a house at all. It may in fact be the house that you live in. It may be a friend’s house, maybe a family relative. It could be a church, group home, any place in the world. It may not even be a physical building. Home can simply be a thought or a feeling you get of complete comfort and happiness. Home is where the heart is, in my opinion. Home is a place where you are accepted for who you are entirely. Where you are able to feel love in complete fullness. Where you are able to experience happiness, and be able to dream and express your life in any way that you feel possible, because this place is your home, and no matter what you should be accepted in your home.
It took me a while to figure out where my home was. I used to think it was either my mom's house, or my dad's house. The place where my family is, the place that everyone refers to as "my home". After a really rough time, I ended up leaving one of my "homes". It was when I left my one home that I realized what it means to be chasing home, and therefore what it means to find my true home. Before I left my mom's house, I didn't really understand what it meant to be home in a sense. When I was at my mom's house, I felt entrapped. I had to think every time before I spoke, knowing that anything I said could be held against me, and always in the back of my mind thinking of all the ways that my mom could twist my words. I was always the black sheep in the family, the punching bag who always had things taken out on them when times got rough at home. And I don't mean to degrade my mom or my family what so ever, I do love them. But many of these occurrences made me realize that this place isn't my home. It was a place where I can't fully express who I am without being degraded, and a place where I felt more unhappy than happy. This isn't what the description of home is, or ever should be.
Throughout the past year, I have been living with my dad. And I can honestly say I have never been happier. I am accepted and feel so comfortable and constantly happy at his house. This place is my home now. And I love it.
But if I'm going to be honest, in my mind, home is where the heart is. And my heart is stuck with one person. When this person is gone, my home is gone too. When I'm gone, it never feels like I am truly home until I am with this person again. This may sound dumb, and completely unrealistic, but it is my idea of home. The time that I feel most at home is when I am with this person, where I am completely myself, and unconditionally accepted as who I am.
So that is my conclusion to this topic of “chasing home.” Find that one place, person, or mind-set that makes you feel totally alive, comforted, welcomed, and loved, and that’s when I truly believe that you have found your home.